Personal development for Kinksters among us. The benefits of the Constellation Experience (CE)

Consider for a moment that your experience is the product of your actions, thinking, mental and physical capabilities, opportunities, challenges, and literally your operational lifestyle.


Think about you and the experience of being yourself as a business venture with you at the center of it. There are many departments that take care of the everyday operations so that you don’t have to think too much about and the details of work and interactions. Reports are brought to mind utilizing the conditioned standard operating procedures (SOP) developed through the lifetime of experiences, direct and indirect, so you can best choose the course of action moving forward and attend to the internal and external cues that arise as feedback from these interactions. Running a successful business can be harder than you know. While the business operates in real time you still have to find time for yourself amidst the flurry of activity that takes you beyond the personal habitual routines to function at your best. There’s so much to do and so little time to do it. There is a lot more to life than work and we are all in development to flexibly make what we want to do and need to be accomplished and streamlined to work with his we live. That's our lifestyle and much of how we live is set to automatically update from the culture and feedback around us and to us. Often times that is not enough to make encourage us to thrive and we are stuck in survival mode.


Even in the highest efficiency of lifestyle operations, there are many things that fall by the wayside on a daily basis and that doesn’t even take into account any emergency that arises. Honestly, it can feel hard sometimes to even do the basic things that we need to keep ourselves together. I think we all have said, "I don't want to adult today." Our daily experience affects getting a good night’s sleep, our level of hydration, if we get an uninterrupted meal, if we’re craving intimacy, and so much more.


Before life gets to survival mode and you are dreaming of better days ahead, you’ll need to take a good look at yourself, where you are lacking, where you are thriving, and where you want to go. Just like a business you should take the time to assess the conditions of your life and develop goals, plans, and lists to live well and develop.

Taking time for yourself while you have responsibilities can feel selfish at times, but that time is an investment in areas left dormant, or worse suppressed to get everything else done. This is a bit ironic given that your business functions out of your personal ambitions, interests, attention, energy, and focus. We all have seen CEOs and budding professionals move even their families to a temporary backseat while they put their company’s interests before their own. Choosing the best course of action is not always easy, but daily operations shouldn’t stunt your personal growth and development. Our personal lives should enrich us, motivate us, and expand our worldview to seek out challenges and learning opportunities that we likely never would have encountered on our own.


Our personal lives are the foundation that we explore the world. It's up to us to find methods to explore and design our best life and establish our best selves. It’s easy to dismiss courses, seminars, books, movies, conversations, and intimacy that comes your way as unnecessary distractions or potential inconveniences at times. Those hours are time that could be spent on other things. That is money that could be going into the business at the moment, and those sentiments are often magnified as if an experience requires expensive travel, a nest egg to spend, or a Guru isolated on a faraway mountaintop. It's true that the time and focus put in one area of your daily experience will remove that resource from another. It comes down to what you value more. What do you need?


When many people get stressed the first thing they throw to the side is exercise, their diet, their sleep, and intimacy. Personal development might not be something that you devote much time to in the grand scheme of your life, but it should be something that you give due consideration to because they come with many secondary benefits. To date, 123 Individuals have completed the post-experience questionnaire sharing what they believed were the benefits of the CE. Getting these responses back is incredibly beneficial for the improvement of the CE and humbling for me. I get excited when someone reported elements better than myself. This feedback shows me how significant it is to get people together who share common interests, passions, and are open to discovering the solutions and ideas that are possible as we do the work of rational inquiry together. Let me share what people have reported as their benefits from taking part in the CE, and I am beaming with pride!


  • Works as an individual journaling tool

  • Develops a community identity and lifestyle story

  • Helps create a culture of empowerment, celebration, and difference

  • Increase self-esteem and personal empowerment

  • Discover the power of being a cultural agent in your community

  • Gain perspective on your relationships and life

  • Learn to simplify complex concepts

  • Practice new ways of thinking

  • Discover new skills for living a more integrated and empowered life

  • Experience a profound sense of oneness and belonging

  • Celebrate the uniqueness of each individual in the group

  • Experience a significant drop in stress levels

  • Discover and develop a more effective way to communicate

  • Experience more joy and less sadness

  • Discover the importance of “being in the moment”

  • Gain greater clarity about what you want in your life

  • Experience a reduction in the intensity and duration of your mood swings

  • Discover and develop more effective coping skills

  • Re-establish healthy boundaries and personal ethics

  • Gain more self-confidence and become more capable

  • Develop a new and more integrated sense of your identity

  • Gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a team player in our polycule

  • Experience a more satisfying work-life balance

  • Helps people understand and accept each other on a personal level

  • Gives people a common language to discuss their lives and issues openly and honestly

  • Builds community and provides a venue for networking and sharing resources

  • Fosters growth and development both personally and professionally

  • Facilitates positive social change

  • Helps you discover and embrace the uniqueness that makes you special

  • Acts as a guide to simplify and personalize big ideas

  • Gives you the language to connect with other Kinksters

  • Allows you to celebrate and be proud of your uniqueness

  • Helps you gain confidence in your capabilities

  • Makes it easier to communicate your desires clearly and authentically

  • Encourages a greater sense of community and belonging

  • Acts as a rite of passage to help you integrate what you learn into your lifestyle and relationships

  • Reduces isolation by encouraging you to share what you’ve learned with others

  • Brings people together in a common purpose to make a difference within their own lives and the world


What is this all about?

The Constellation Experience is designed as a self-contained dialoguing and journaling workshop, as it establishes individual and community lifestyle stories and influences towards how we can come together as a rite of passage. It represents a uniform community format for kink and lifestyle organizations to encourage new and returning community members to become conscious of and reshape the social culture and relationships we all share. Our thinking affects everything. If you change your thinking, you could change your life. Lifestyle design starts by looking at how you live your life and deciding what you want to change. As a group or alone, you can use this workbook to identify and determine your ideal lifestyle, try out living purposefully, and explore how to make a difference within your relationships and community. Among the many aspects of our personal development that matter, kink is just one. It's about honoring a person's whole self. We matter individually and as a group. We all contribute to this community, and we don’t have to be a kink club officer, trainer, or author to make a difference in the community or the world. The Constellation Experience was established to create a rite of passage that allows people to see their lives, contributions, and what they offer as valued and capable of empowering what they want to see in their community and beyond. Undertaking the Constellation Experience marks the moment they stepped onto their journey of passion, capabilities and began integrating the community knowledge for themselves today and what a better future could be. There is a lot of material out there for vanilla folk to realize themselves in the mainstream world. This work is created for Kinksters and is intended to be shared within the community. Not one of us is the same.


Scenarios are explored through situational topics and questions that allow each person to bring all of themselves, celebrate what makes them different, and move through exercises that uncover opportunities to live better. There’s a lot of misunderstanding about BDSM, kink, and being part of a lifestyle community. Many people today do not recognize how common this is. Identities are fluid, and we do not always have the words to express what we want. You can use the Constellation Experience privately or in a group setting to simplify a big idea to its essence or transform a fleeting moment into a universal experience. Once a thought is on the page, you can come back to it. You can relate to it, or define yourself against it. This isn't the kind of book you pick up and read and then put down. This is a working book that can inspire you to change how you live and find your community. Bring what makes you uniquely you, because that’s your magic! That is how you come to realize how much power you have both individually and collectively as a cultural agent to shape the world.


This format provides a facilitation script so that those experiencing it for the first time know what is being emphasized, and the physical books are made to be written in. Kindle versions allow us to keep notes and skip around by searching the text. Whether you use a notebook to write in to accompany this manual or doodle the Great Pumpkin, this experience is designed to open up your perspectives on who you are, how you live, and what defines a good and purposeful life.


The next CE dates are approaching fast!! These events will be virtual meetings and I will link the event links below. If you have any problem accessing them please let me know.


SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2021 AT 1 PM – 4 PM CDT